Mercury retrograde in Aquarius is a jerk

Let me start by saying I am not an astrologer. I have been a fan and dabbler for many years with some training here and there but my skills are very basic. I also take issue when someone is surprised I 'believe' so much in astrology. I try not to use the word believe pretty much ever because it is highly charged and creates separation. My experience is that, for me, following the movements of earth and sky has been incredibly healing and brought wisdom and fluidity to my life. Plus it has been quite accurate!

Anytime I post about celestial events, it is more based in my musings and limited knowledge, so if it resonates, great, if not, no worries.

On to Mercury. Mercury retrograde is a month long occurrence that happens three times a year. On earth, during these cycles, it appears Mercury is going backwards. When Mercury goes retro, it tends to frazzle the astrology loving population because Mercury rules technology, travel, communication, things we are quite attached to, and when he moves back, it also seems to turn our deadlines, cell phones, cars, computers, paperwork, plans and conversations backwards as well.

Additionally, Mercury retrogrades under different astrology signs, which can add another layer to the confusion, depending on that signs element and energy.

I generally don't mind these phases. As a Gemini sun sign, ruled by Mercury, it can be a relief to slow down, halt the progress and take a few weeks to work on anything starting with 're,' ie re lax, re new, re lease, re examine, re flect. It is a time for finishing, rather than starting, rethinking choices before taking action.

So, when Mercury went retro on Feb 6, I made note, and when I saw he was in Aquarius, sign of creativity, eccentricity, liberation, community and universal consciousness, I thought, 'this should be interesting.'

Well, it has been. Rather than experiencing the creative side of Aquarius, though, Mercury has brought out the aloof and insensitive qualities. Quite frankly, Mercury Retrograde in Aquarius has been kind of a jerk.

And not just to me. Most of my friends have experienced huge blows to the head in relationships, travel, work, home and oh yes, technology!

For the first time in my adult life, I lost my cell phone. Though, lost seems wrong. Mercury, trickster wizard that he is, made it disappear.

I don't care about the phone. I did miss texting, but was bummed about losing all the pictures and videos of my baby. Plus, I went five days without a phone, a feat unimaginable to many.

I was so sure the phone would resurface. I thought this was just an aquarian teaching about spending time off the phone, noticing attachments, being more creative in my communication and of course, being more consistent in backing up what is important.

Maybe that was the teaching. But the phone didn't come back and it took nearly another week to get a decent replacement from insurance and get it squared away.

I probably sound a little whiny here. But it was annoying and I am super sad about the lost items.

Still, I know how powerful cycles are and though I resent his style, I trust this is part of the process. Of something.

We have one more week of the current Mercury rx. If you have had a hard time, keep taking deep breaths. Slow down, take it easy and don't take Aquarius personally. His ultimate job is to bring collective balance, no easy feat. The challenges arising are for the highest good, even if they seem silly or hurtful to us.

And if you are someone who has not felt the cool treatment at this cycle, yay you. Try not to rub it in.

Aquarius New Moon 1/30/14~ The Web

I have been thinking a lot about friends, relationships, needs and community in general. Maybe it is the residue from the Cancer full moon this month. Mama Cancer brings up what we need and how we need to feel loved, comforted, safe. Or maybe it is simply that so much of my life and priorities have shifted since I became a mother. Either way, relationships, how to be in relationships and what it means to be in relationships are on my mind.

Friends have always been one of the most important things to me. From an early age, I preferred my "chosen" family over my real family. I didn't come from a strict or unkind home, quite the opposite, but the Gemini in me sought popularity, new faces and socializing more than developing closeness with my kin. Even though that has changed some as I have grown older, seen the importance in my family and understand how different those connections are, my friends and community still ranked pretty close to number one on my priority list.

A lot has transformed since I got pregnant and even more so since baby was born. Suddenly, this new soul is number one and even that second slot seems miles beneath the first. I now understand that maternal emotional Cancerian calling in a way I never imagined, fathomed or even desired. I had no idea I would love this kid so much or that I would want to be with him constantly. Everything else just kinda falls away. I don't mean it to, I try to be aware, be present, be kind to those around me. It is just hard. This shift is not just for parents, it can happen anytime you suddenly commit yourself to a new calling or presence.

So I am tired and obsessed. I am overwhelmed. It is easy to stay home with the kid when I don't have to be somewhere. And it is just easier to hang out with other moms, or with no one at all. Suddenly the excitement I felt around social events, networking, even lunches and mani/pedis feels like work and even talking on the phone is an impossibility.

On the other side, Gemini human that I still am, a part of me feels like I need more help and connection now; and it's hard not to just pick up the phone when I want something or someone. Oh, the selflessness in serving another human and the selfishness of still being one!

I find myself being afraid of sounding selfish or needy and then I don't reach out at all. I wonder what the point is of trying to maintain my standing in the community or my friendships. It is not a comfortable place to be. I don't know what the solution is or even if one really exists. Perhaps I just need a shift in my perception.

Enter, as always, the new moon. Aquarius, fixed air, is the sign of community. She is the weaver of the web, the social director that stands back and sees how the event can be unique and wonderful. She is smart and effortlessly maintains all the pieces that need to be woven and the balls that need to be juggling. She does what she does for the highest good, the collective consciousness and the much bigger picture. It's not just about her, or any single person or linear list of persons. She is concerned with all beings.

She is also a little aloof, detached and ambivalent to the emotional needs and desires of others. Aquarius new moon following the Cancer full moon is about as different as it gets, but both are pertinent players in the game of life.

Cancer allows us to drop into that place of overwhelming need and feeling. She forces us to look at the uncomfortable emotions around family, life and what brings us closeness and comfort. Compared to Capricorn, the new moon cycle ending, and Aquarius, the one beginning, she is the almost intolerably needy but necessary.

Capricorn turned our attention towards the active, masculine, anchoring energies of manifestation, and now Aquarius, who is neither feminine nor masculine, but rather androgynous in her universality and preferences, has us step back from father/mother and into the realm of simply being human. Rather than labeling and demanding roles, expectations and results, Aquarius steps back, shrugs and says "what is needed for the benefit of all? Not for just you to succeed (Capricorn) and for you to feel good (Cancer) but for everyone to live just a little bit more happily?"

I, too, have to step back. Being a mom is amazing. But being a wife, daughter, sister, friend, teacher, student and mother feels overwhelming. I know many of you relate, we all wear so many masks! Can we just come back to being human? And can we behave as we want other humans to behave, without attachment or expectation? Can we soften the guilt, anger, love, resentment and fear and just breathe? Aquarius is air, after all. Can we just do, one day at a time, the best we can do and what needs to be done for the highest good for all of us?

It is a tough request, one that requires contemplation and the intelligence that comes from the higher mind, not the primal brain or ego. After all, how can we be human and know the highest good? That is the Aquarian think-outside-the-box paradox and it requires both a humbling acceptance of our finite, flawed nature and the nature of others, a willingness to still want to take actions that benefit all the beings in spite of that nature and then a surrender to something greater, even if it is just the idea that there is something greater than our needs. It is in this process that the higher purpose is revealed. But it is subtle and as it is in the realm of air, it is a brief glimpse, a breath, of the highest consciousness, and then the humanness returns.

Many of us can't or won't meet the challenge. That's okay, Aquarius does not judge. She just keeps weaving the web and knows you will find a place in the fabrics, when you are ready. The web is not neat and not always beautiful, it's magic is in the fact that it simply keeps growing, regardless of the imperfections and mistakes. She just keeps weaving it, finding the exquisiteness in creation and connection, in just being human, aware of our humanness, doing the best we can with other humans, one intricate, complicated stitch at a time, one breath at a time.

I breathe in, and I forgive myself for my desires, expectations, flaws and shortcomings. I exhale and I forgive others for theirs. In that fixed space between the inhale and exhale, the exhale and inhale, I pause, and ask Aquarius, higher consciousness, what next step needs to be taken, for the highest good of all. The weaver keeps weaving and the web grows stronger.

Sending you all love and blessings on this new moon, the second one in January, considered to be auspicious by many in terms of potent beginnings (There is no new moon in February in 2014, but two again in March, it will be a powerful spring, but more on that later); also Happy Chinese new year, year of the horse! As time starts to gallop by, do pause in your breath and ask to be guided. May we all remember our humanness, our connection and trust everyone is doing the best they can. Bekah

Aquarius Full Moon/Lunar Lammas 8/1~ Receive and Release

Aquarius Full Moon/Lunar Lammas~ Receive and Release

Welcome to our second unusual new moon/full moon pairing. Normally, the Aquarius full moon balances the fixed fire energy of Leo, but thanks to that 2nd Gemini new moon, Aquarius is aligning with Great Nurturing Mama Cancer. In the middle of Mercury retrograde, on the tail end of intense solar flares, and falling almost exactly on the cross quarter holy day, Lammas, the mutable air full moon might be just the right sign to remind us of our universal relationships and responsibilities.

Lammas, also known as Lughnasadh, symbolizes the first harvest. The summer crops have come to fruition and it is time to start reaping what we have sown. The first crop, traditionally, was wheat or grain, and most cultures were very glad when this day came, because last year's stores are usually barren and needing to be filled. It is the counter point on the wheel of the year to Imbolc, falling around February 2nd, where the first milks were made available and we began to sense the coming of Spring. Now, we sense the coming of fall and there is both gratitude and fear setting in as to what the colder season may bring.

Aquarius is fixed air, which confuses people as it's symbol is "water-bearer" so they presume it is a water sign. Close, though, being fixed, air at it's most contained, palpable quality. I think of Aquarius as mist, or fog, which has a mysterious nature and can cover the whole country with it's veil. That is, ultimately, what Aquarius likes to do: bring beings together in an unattached, unconditional, all encompassing way for enlightenment and idealism. Aquarius works with higher energy centers, it is not concerned with physical, material things, but is fixed on showing everyone that they are spiritual beings.Though air energy is generally mental, Aquarius is interested in the high mind, the collective consciousness rather than the individual mind.

It is interesting having such a mental sign during the extremely emotional Cancer cycle. But I think it is rather profound to bring these two together and recognize the relationship between them. For Aquarius' ideals to be sustainable, they need to be rooted in deep love, affection for home and family and an appreciation of life's juiciness. I also find it fascinating that Lammas is being celebrated under Aquarius's mist, perhaps this will remind all of us that no mater how hard we have worked, there are still those in need, and we can be of service to them at this time, especially if we are reaping well.

Our ancestors used to sacrifice a portion of their crop back to the earth as an offering to their deities to thank them for the harvest, but to me, it also symbolizes the idea that, if you want to truly absorb something, you have to be willing to give it away. Once you are full, you have to empty, so that you can fill again. Lammas is a powerful time to meditate on the pulsation of receiving and releasing as both Cancerian nurturing and Aquarian non-attachment.

Aquarius can affect our minds with her mist, helping us to remember that we are not alone on this planet, and that everything we do can benefit other beings, or harm them. She shows us not to be attached to the material world, to recognize our spirits and that all spirit is connected. We come out of our own self absorption and focus on service and community.

Cancer keeps us connected to the feminine, to our homes and loved ones, continuing to whisper that we need to honor love, gratitude and the flow of nature. She won't allow us to forget our humaness, but can deepen the emotional connection we have to each other, keeping us from being too detached or airy.

And Lammas, as a physical shift of the wheel, brings it all together, the emotional, personally invested feeling of bringing goals to fruition, the joy of sharing our triumphs and the very humble spiritual quality of acknowedging that everything changes, winter will come, and we each need to do our parts to take care of the tribe, as well as recognize the gifts spirit has given us this summer season.

Keep an open mind, and an open heart, at this full moon. As we move towards the darker side of the year, our commitment to both receiving and releasing is what will keep us willing, humble, present and kind to ourselves and others. Embrace your feelings, because it keeps you human, seek out a higher consciousness, because it allows you connect to all beings, and appreciate fully all the gifts in your life right now, for this cycle, too, shall pass.

Aquarius Full Moon Saturday 8/13

The moon is waxing beautifully in the summer skies. While the full moon is still days away, I think most of us can't help but draw our eyes to the heavens this week as things may feel like they are not unfolding as planned in front of us. 

The new moon in Leo came in with a fiery roar, and we were happy to hear it; there was a night or two of excitement, eagerness, playfulness, courage and fun... then Mercury went retrograde and that roar went inward. Perhaps some of you felt like you were coughing up a fur ball or two? All the intention of moving outward, and suddenly, communication is off and we just want to pick up our toys and go home.

That is okay. The retrograde cycles are always a time for powerful teaching. The energy moves backwards and since so many of us are constantly wanting to move forward, it is a real challenge to stop in our tracks and allow those steps back. Our outward fun may turn into inner reflection and our big parties may become quiet picnics under the stars. I was hiking with a dear friend today and she was telling me how a teacher just told her that sometimes creativity is not about making a piece of art, but rather, when things aren't moving the way you want, can you use your creativity to respond in a fluid way?

I think that may be the teaching of Leo/Aquarius this month. 

Aquarius is fixed air, (maintain creativity) which often makes it feel more watery since when air is contained it feels more like waves, as does its symbol the water-bearer. I never quite understood or related to what a water-bearer was and so I looked into it:  The symbol for Aquarius is the Water Bearer, symbolically and eternally giving life and spiritual food to the world. The water from the vessel washes away the past, leaving room for a fresh, new start. The sign of Aquarius is forward-looking and growth-oriented. Concerned with equality and individual freedom, Aquarius seeks to dispense its knowledge, and its vision of equality and individuality, to all. (from cafeastrology.com) 

Aquarius is always outside the box. So maybe Leo inspired some traditional summer fun activities, and now with mercury retrograde and the rising emotion of the full moon we have to back track and find a way to use our creativity and passions in a different way, a more fluid and unconscious way, maybe one that is focused on bettering ourselves and the world around us, rather than having a final summer hurrah.

If you are feeling depressed, angry, unsettled or frustrated, that is still Leo energy waiting to be channeled, and now the Aquarius full moon asks us if we dare to channel that creativity in a new way? A way that gives new life and energy to all beings? Just as sitting under a waxing/full moon nourishes the soul, so can your Leo/Aquarius intentions. The retrograde cycle can make it difficult to start something new, so let that air energy move backwards into other intentions you may have set this year that didn't get fulfilled. Do you remember the intentions you made back at the Aquarius new moon this year? Both air and fire have the flexibility to go in any direction we want. Become an air-bender this week and heed the Aquarius call.

As always, the choice in responding to our celestial teachers lies with you. Every month, in each part of the lunar cycle, we have an opportunity to learn, grow, transform and create. The planets, elements, signs are all just guides, suggestions along the way. There is no right or wrong but these times offer really powerful opportunities to each of us. If nothing else, pay attention to your feelings, to nature, to the sky and just do one thing that your intuition guides you to do this week, even if it seems really weird (that is the Aquarius calling card;))  Obviously, be sure it harms no one and again, no big life changes during retrograde... but a subtle change in your reaction, a whim to do something a little differently, to use your creativity in a new way, that will be enough to honor this cycle and please both the Lioness and the Water-bearer.

Have a beautiful waxing week and a sweet Aquarian Full Moon weekend. I leave you with a quote from a famous Aquarian, Francis Bacon, "He that will not apply new remedies must expect new evils; for time is the greatest innovator."